Squiddly police rider

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478cc
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Squiddly police rider

Post by 478cc »

Yesterday I was heading north up the A1 near Doncaster.
(The A1 is an old two lane motorway for you non-UK readers)

I was in the outside lane doing 85 with fairly heavy traffic and lots of lorries around. About 200 hundred yards ahead a police motorcycle was sat on the hard shoulder but at right angles to the traffic.
When I got to about 50 yards from him, he decided to pull out into the traffic, cut across the 'slow' lane in between two lorries and into my lane.
I was doing about 75 by now, I eased off when I first saw him.
He accelerated VERY hard to match my speed and must have gone from zero to 70 in about 5 seconds.

Now he's just in front of me and gaining on the car in front way too fast. As he shuts off the throttle a foot long orange flame shoots out of the exhaust.
Cool I thought, he must be on one of those Norton rotary bikes. Years ago I saw the race bikes with their flame thrower exhausts.


He was wearing a flourescent jacket that was not zipped up so it was flapping behind him like Supermans cape.
He rode about a foot away from the car in front and when the car driver spotted him he cut in front of a lorry to get out of his way.
As the car was pulling out of his lane and with only a three foot gap to aim for, the police rider swerved past him and then did the same thing to the next car.
After a mile he suddenly did a near right angle turn at over 70, cut across the two lanes and went up the next slip lane.

As he slowed down on the slip road I noticed he was on an R1150R.
Also noticed when he was riding in a straight line he was not central on the bike. His right arse cheek was hanging off the seat.

Very ODD
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Post by darthrider »

His right arse cheek was hanging off the seat.
Yeah, we have some half-assed cops here too...mainly in cars though.
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Post by riceburner »

Sounds more like a courier than a cop..... did he have POLICE written across his back??
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Post by BobFV1 »

riceburner wrote:Sounds more like a courier than a cop..... did he have POLICE written across his back??
Andy - I am with Riceburner - from your description, this doesn't sound like the British motorcops I have seen on my frequent trips you your once-idyllic little clump of Islands. My impression of British motor officers has always been that they are better-equipped, better trained, and more professional than their US counterparts.

Let me qualify that broad generalization. In many, if not most Departments here, motors are an elite unit with competition to get in to and they are generally populated by dedicated and aggressive officers. But there are many things you see in the USA that, at least I, never see in my sporadic observation of UK motorcops:

1) Protective equipment - Brits generally wear flip-up helmets and high-vis jackets or vests; in the USA it's 3/4 helmets and polyester shirts, supplemented by dark-colored leather jackets when the weather turns cooler.

2) Bikes - Many departments in the USA are using under-powered and poorly-engineered Harley-Davidson service bikes, or ancient Kawasakis, although BMW's and Hondas have made some good headway in certain markets. Paint schemes are generally black and white, and in many places (such as Northern Virginia) they have a dark paint scheme. In the UK, there are great, high-vis paint schemes and a variety of high-powered bikes have been in service for years, especially Honda 1100's

3) Physical condition - I've never seen a fat British motorcop. Must be all the blood pudding - hard to eat too much of that stuff :)

Okay US lawmen - flame away, but before you do, please state first if you've ever been accross the Atlantic and seen your Europrean counterparts for yourself.

And with regard to the squiddly riding described in the OP - it doesn't seem to add up, but it could be that the guy is just on a very, very high skill level. In the fast rider groups I ride with at the track, there are some guys who it seems, at first, must have a death wish, but my impression now is that they are just on a higher plane of motorcycle being. They are still human and can still die, but there is no denying their skill level.
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Post by riceburner »

Just a thought - it could be a Courier Systems guy - they have specially supplied white R850Rs (of both types).
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Post by 478cc »

riceburner wrote:Just a thought - it could be a Courier Systems guy - they have specially supplied white R850Rs (of both types).
He was definitely a copper, or he'd just nicked a police bike.
It had the pole on the back with the light on top.

This freaked me out a bit because our police riders are very highly trained and are probably the safest road users around.

I half expected him to go up the slip road and then down the other side so that he was behind me. I've had that happen before. Never accelerate when you see a police car or bike turn off a motorway until you are sure they are not coming down the on-ramp behind you. DAMHIK :roll:

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Post by riceburner »

478cc wrote:
riceburner wrote:Just a thought - it could be a Courier Systems guy - they have specially supplied white R850Rs (of both types).
He was definitely a copper, or he'd just nicked a police bike.
It had the pole on the back with the light on top.

This freaked me out a bit because our police riders are very highly trained and are probably the safest road users around.

I half expected him to go up the slip road and then down the other side so that he was behind me. I've had that happen before. Never accelerate when you see a police car or bike turn off a motorway until you are sure they are not coming down the on-ramp behind you. DAMHIK :roll:

Steve
Could be Military police... but then they're pretty highly trained too.
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Post by jonothan »

This is not the pattern of riding I'd expect from a UK motorcycle cop.

Seen plenty of motorcycle cops - hell, I've even ridden with them as part of the BikeSafe scheme that they operate as training day sessions for bikers - and that to me just doesn't add up. What gives it away more than anything is how he was sitting on his machine.

Dunno, I cannot explain it very easily.

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cops

Post by Simon D »

One possible answer chaps, when I was last at SPC m/cycles back in the summer, they had half a dozen K1200RS models in full Police livery.All had far too low mileages to have been used for serious Police work.
Story was they were demonstrators from BMW (GB) to loan to the various forces to try and win back some of the "Pan Euro" buisiness. Having served their purpose they were being sold off.
Now I've never seen or heard of an 1150R Police spec machine, but it's not impossible that a demonstration model exists and has somehow got into the hands of a prat.
Like Johnathon I've done a Bikesafe day (with Kent Police) and the behaviour described is never a copper, not in a million years!
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Post by scottybooj »

ummm, is a lorry a truck?
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Post by darthrider »

ummm, is a lorry a truck?
I think it's a gay truck.

Can we say "gay"?
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Post by jonothan »

darthrider wrote:
ummm, is a lorry a truck?
I think it's a gay truck.

Can we say "gay"?
No. But we can say Poofter. I think that's allowed.

A lorry is indeed a truck.

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leno

Post by leno »

478cc wrote:
riceburner wrote:Just a thought - it could be a Courier Systems guy - they have specially supplied white R850Rs (of both types).
He was definitely a copper, or he'd just nicked a police bike.
It had the pole on the back with the light on top.

Steve
Police are not the only people to have bikes in dayglow colours and lights on poles. Both the AA and RAC have bikes which would fit the discription. They have fooled me in to riding at the peed limit more than once. The amberlance service also have rapid responce bikes which are also lookylikey.
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Post by BobFV1 »

darthrider wrote:
ummm, is a lorry a truck?
I think it's a gay truck.

Can we say "gay"?
You can only say "gay" Darth, if you mean "happy" - like the picture below, which depicts a "happy truck". Don't forget to check out the headlights on that thing!

Image
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Post by machew01 »

It looks like the Poofter Freedom Fighters are rejoicing at having finally answered that age old question: Where's the beef?

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Post by darthrider »

You guys knock me out!
Keep up the good work.

"Poofter"??
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Post by jonothan »

darthrider wrote:"Poofter"??
Oh, Darth, surely you use that term in the USA? No? Well, it's actually used in a very slightly derogatory but also in a slightly affectionate context, describing a male homosexual who is pretty camp.

I think Aussies use it too.

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Post by BobFV1 »

jonothan wrote:
darthrider wrote:"Poofter"??
Oh, Darth, surely you use that term in the USA? No? Well, it's actually used in a very slightly derogatory but also in a slightly affectionate context, describing a male homosexual who is pretty camp.

I think Aussies use it too.

J
Oh! We have them over here too - we call them "French people!"
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Post by riceburner »

To quote a Robin Williams gag :


"F a g ?"



"no - but I find you very attractive!"


(spaces added to get past the filters.... :roll: )
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Rule Number One: No Poofters ! courtesy of Monty Python

Post by TonyT607 »

The Bruces

Second Bruce: G'day, Bruce!

First Bruce: Oh, Hello Bruce!

Third Bruce: How are you Bruce?

First Bruce: A bit crook, Bruce.

Second Bruce: Where's Bruce?

First Bruce: He's not 'ere, Bruce.

Third Bruce: Blimey, it's hot in here, Bruce.

First Bruce: Hot enough to boil a monkey's bum!

Second Bruce: That's a strange expression, Bruce.

First Bruce: Well Bruce, I heard the Prime Minister use it. "It's hot enough to boil a monkey's bum in here, your Majesty," he said, and she smiled quietly to herself.

Third Bruce: She's a good Sheila, Bruce, and not at all stuck up.

Second Bruce: Here! Here's the boss-fellow now!

(Enter fourth bruce with English person, Michael)

Third Bruce: 'Ow are you, Bruce?

First Bruce: G'day, Bruce!

Fourth Bruce: Bruce.

Second Bruce: Hello, Bruce.

Fourth Bruce: Bruce.

Third Bruce: How are you, Bruce?

Fourth Bruce: G'day, Bruce.

Fourth Bruce: Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce a man from Pommyland who is joinin' us this year in the Philosophy Department at the University of Wooloomooloo.

EveryBruce: G'day!

Michael Baldwin: Hello.

Fourth Bruce: Michael Baldwin, Bruce. Michael Baldwin, Bruce. Michael Baldwin, Bruce.

First Bruce: Is your name not Bruce?

Michael: No, it's Michael.

Second Bruce: That's going to cause a little confusion.

Third Bruce: Mind if we call you "Bruce" to keep it clear?

Fourth Bruce: Gentlemen, I think we better start the faculty meeting. Before we start, though, I'd like to ask the padre for a prayer.

First Bruce: Oh Lord, we beseech Thee, Amen!!

EveryBruce: Amen!

Fourth Bruce: Crack tubes! (Sound of cans opening) Now I call upon Bruce to officially welcome Mr. Baldwin to the philosophy faculty.

Second Bruce: I'd like to welcome the pommy bastard to God's own Earth, and remind him that we don't like stuck-up sticky-beaks here.

EveryBruce: Hear, hear! Well spoken, Bruce!

Fourth Bruce: Bruce here teaches classical philosophy, Bruce there teaches Hegelian philosophy, and Bruce here teaches logical positivism. And is also in charge of the sheep dip.

Third Bruce: What's New-Bruce going to teach?

Fourth Bruce: New-Bruce will be teaching political science, Machiavelli, Bentham, Locke, Hobbes, Sutcliffe, Bradman, Lindwall, Miller, Hassett, and Benaud.

Second Bruce: Those are all cricketers!

Fourth Bruce: Aww, spit!

Third Bruce: Howls of derisive laughter, Bruce!

EveryBruce: Australia, Australia, Australia, Australia, we love you, amen!

Fourth Bruce: Another two! (Sound of cans opening) Any questions?

Second Bruce: New-Bruce, are you a Poofter?

Fourth Bruce: Are you a Poofter?

New-Bruce: No!

Fourth Bruce: No. Right, I just want to remind you of the faculty rules: Rule One!

Everybruce: No Poofters!

Fourth Bruce: Rule Two, no member of the faculty is to maltreat the Abos in any way at all -- if there's anybody watching. Rule Three?

Everybruce: No Poofters!!

Fourth Bruce: Rule Four, now this term, I don't want to catch anybody not drinking. Rule Five ...

Everybruce: No Poofters!

Fourth Bruce: Rule Six, there is NO ... Rule Six. Rule Seven...

Everybruce: No Poofters!!

Fourth Bruce: Right, that concludes the readin' of the rules, Bruce.

First Bruce: This here's the wattle, the emblem of our land. You can stick it in a bottle, you can hold it in your hand.

EveryBruce: Amen!

[At this point, on the Album versions, they break into song... ]

The television version continues...

First Bruce: Right, let's get some sheilas.

(An Aboriginal comes in with an enormous tray full of huge steaks)

Fourth Bruce: OK.

Second Bruce: Ah, elevenses.

Third Bruce: This should tide us over 'til lunchtime.

Fourth Bruce: OK.

Second Bruce: Reckon so, Bruce.

First Bruce: Sydney Nolan! What's that! (points)

(Cut to dramatic close-up of Fourth bruce's ear. Hold close-up. A superimposed arrow points to the ear)

Voice over: Number nine. The ear.
(All Bruces break into song... )
Tony
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