Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other:" Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says:
"Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida.......?????
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor".
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled along side a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled:
"PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
BLONDES ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
DOUBLE-PANE WINDOWS
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy-efficient kinds. But this week I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work had been completed a whole year and I had yet to pay for them.
Boy, oh boy, did we go the rounds! Just because I'm blonde doesn't mean I'm stupid. So I proceeded to tell him exactly what his fast-talking sales guy had told me last year...that in one year the windows would pay for themselves.
There was silence on the other end of the line, so I just hung up and he hasn't called back. Guess he felt pretty stupid, huh?!
