Have you ever wished you hadn't said that?

[rchop]

Subject: Ever wished you hadn't said that ?????????

Have you ever said something and wish you could take the
words back or that you could crawl into a hole?

Here are the Testimonials of a few women who did...

FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
And asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a
blow job?" I stopped dead in my tracks....turned around and walked out
And never went back. My husband didn't say a word...he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After
browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the
good-looking gentlemen who worked at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold
A variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display
Case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I
replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked
Away. To this day, my Sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
Release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to
grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she
would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and Said in a
Voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go, I'm telling
Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was Deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what
they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out
of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door
closed behind me were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a particular question too many times?

My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training
and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for A quick
lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so, of course,
I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then, I
realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked
him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I kept thinking,
"Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any
clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't Have an
accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an
accident, because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?"
This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and
spread his cheeks and yelled, "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While
30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled
up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a
very embarrassed female news anchor that will, in the future,
likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict
snow --
but don't get any....a true story.

We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed
to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So
Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only
did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too as they were
laughing so hard!

[JCsman]

Things you wish you hadn't said:

Or like in 1972 when I said, "Will you marry me?"

[boxermania]

JC.....beat ya....I said it in 69......sic

[DJ Downunder]

Last week our Aussie News crossed to a blond American news reader who was giving us an update on the space shuttle landing.

She said that it would be coming in at 25 times the sound of speed...

She didn't notice her mistake....I thought it was funny.

DJ

[beekstersocal]

i like # 4